A Message for you

Dear You,

A1101,2011.

It's hard to believe that six years has passed.

I remembered seeing you in a few classes before IELTS, you appeared so unapproachable back then.

I am glad that we somehow gotten to know each other.

Lately, the same feeling daunts me.

You seemed so far away, beyond reach.

Closure.

From clear skies to dense dark clouds.

So thick that no light shines through and the life beneath it starts dying.

I have been struggling over silly things, I thought I was better than this.

The consequences of not wanting to let go has impacted my way of life.

I feel like a black hole  in an inescapable void.Darkness consumes me.

I hope one day,I would be able to improve.

I do not regret what we had, truth to be told if I could do it diffferently I would but I guess it things were meant to be ,there isnt a point in changing them.
I am selfish maybe that's why I do not like to eat fish but enjoy being around them.
Lol

I do not like to give up/in without at least trying.

I feel old, it's been 6 year since we first met.

Looking back. Now and then.

Years have passed and I have changed, perhaps  changed beyond recognition.

So did you, into a mature and bold lady .(ps.nice hair)

We had our fair share of good and bad memories today.

From strangers to friend to good friend and now what we have essentially a sunkship(not a friendship).

At times, I wonder if I am/was the toxic one in the relationship.

Perhaps I am. I am pretty sure I'm at fault.

I do not know if you are aware but there were days where I really wanted to salvage what we had but the tension in the air and awkwardness puts me off.

I struggled to utter a single word and often take back what I said.

It's been going on for too long.

The time has come, for me to not grasp onto something that's just not going to work.

No more trying.

It's just seems like you no longer take a interest anymore, what used to matter no longers does. We have outgrown and worn out this friendship.

I will spare us from the awkward moments and emotional distress.

I had been selfish by buying more time to hope to revive something that was dead.

Nevertheless,  I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the memories.

Be free, be happy and continue growing into the beautiful person that you are.

Not everyone you lose is a lost. You just do not need me anymore. I do not belong in the future chapters.

If there needs to be a bad person for this tragedy. put the blame on me.

I sincerely wish you all the time and all the luck in the world.

Co-captain of the ship, signing off permanently and I bid my farewells as I sink with the ship.